The Peanut Gallery and Discrimination....

Heightism...yes this is real. Crazy right. That people would be prejudiced against a tall person. Can you believe this crap.

Now I will tell you, I can't fathom what goes through my sons mind most days. Everywhere we go, people simply stare at him. Usually grown men. It's funny to me, because you can see the testosterone almost slither out of some men when my 16 year old walks into a room. He is a child to me, teenager to most and a threat apparently to most men and their manhood. They stare, they glare and sometimes ask him if he plays ball and what position.

It has to be hard being 6'7 and 16. Still growing and knowing that you are still growing. I have always taught the boy to be confident. Own your shit. Confidence is the key to making people believe that you are not insecure. I know he has to be though. Its hard to find clothes, shoes and sit in cars, hell even sitting on a toilet must be a challenge. You have to bend down to kiss a girl and slow dances at homecoming must be hard too.

So back to my story, because I digress. The boy loves soccer. He is an awesome goalkeeper and can dive for a ball like a 5'8 person would. He has learned to use his height believe me. When he is in goal, no one really says anything on the sideline. You don't hear many groans or mumbles coming from the peanut gallery of parents or coaches. But give him a chance on the field as striker and he shines. But then you hear the mumbles, the groans, the parents yelling to get him off the field because he may hurt their little Timmy. Now Timmy apparently is playing an age group of 16 year old boys and is two feet shorter than my son. It's not my fault Timmy didn't grow or hasn't come into puberty. Maybe you should have given Timmy better genetics. I don't know. But why should my son have to worry about Timmy's height.

Little Timmy tripped over my sons size 16 shoes and is flopping. So of course, the peanut gallery starts yelling. As I sit there, getting angry and mumbling to myself. The end of the game comes and Peanut #1 is talking about how tall my lil giant is as I walk by. I stop and give the Doe Eyes look of a sad mother, and say "Yes he has Giantism and its really hard for him to fit in and be a normal kid" hoping for a little remorse from said Peanut. All I get of course is an "Oh Crap" look when Peanut realizes the Giants mothers was only sitting 4 people down from him as he proceeded to talk crap and yell to pull my son off the field the whole game.

As we are leaving we have the opposing Coach (Head Peanut) screaming at our coach about my son being a threat and that someone will get hurt by him playing. That he shouldn't be allowed to play.

Of course, my Irish mentality at first goes to "lets take this out in the parking lot", but I can't do that. So, I go into the typical American mentality of "I'm going to sue the pants off of you and the facility, if my son is not allowed to play."  Oh and you can bet your pants that I will. Why? Because it is simply discrimination. It's called Heightism. It's a Prejudice or Discrimination for his height. Nothing more.

But luckily, we have an awesome coach who has watched my son grow up since 2nd grade and knows what we have been through. The hard times we have finding him clothes, shoes, cleats, gloves. He stood up for my son. Like a good coach should, with his own smartass mouth and said "Maybe Timmy should eat more red meat so he can grow tall too." Making the opposing coach and parent stand there with their mouths wide open.

Today we go back to play. It has been determined that poor Giant must stay in the goalkeeper box the whole game. It's really sad, because he loves running the field and scoring a goal himself.  But you never know if another Timmy will be playing and have parents that are going to judge my son based on his height. So to avoid conflict we will watch him stand in his box and dive for the balls and have amazing saves.


Let's just hope I don't have to speak my mind to any Peanuts today.....

When you are just ready for the New Year to Begin

Can we just say goodbye to 2016! 

Has this been the year that you may aged a little from? I know I have a few extra grey hairs this year, and I don't think I can attribute it just to be 42 now.

From the drama of a ridiculous election, to the loss of friends that may or may not have asked who you voted for before unfriending you. This was a tough one for sure! I mean the biggest problem was lack of real communication, lets face it.  We had fake news, we had real news and we had opinions beyond anything I have seen. I mean, everyone had an opinion, but you had to be careful how you expressed it.

To the godly amount of talent we lost. Just seems like there was more than any other year this year. Don't these things come in 3's? I thought Celebrity Deaths always came in 3's. You would wait to see who the third one was going to be. But no, December wasn't going to play by those rules apparently. We lost some great ones this year, some shocking ones for sure. I am still in shock on a few.

To the sad reality of Flint Michigan still not having clean water and DAPL being on the backburner for many to see what will actually happen. The Syrians are still in a sad state and now we are poking the bear and putting sanctions on Russia.

It has been a Shitty and I mean Shitty Year!

I had some serious stresses and losses this year. My stepdad that raised me, was finally out of his misery of 9 years suffering from COPD. That one is still hard. Christmas just wasn't the same. Not that I spend Holidays back home. But I would always get a smoked ham from my parents and this years store bought ham just wasn't the same. But he is watching over me somewhere, still shaking his head and laughing at some of the dumb shit I do.

I have seen more violence on the news this year than I can remember, and even attended a funeral for a young man killed by street violence. So yeah, definitely heartbreaking crappy year.

 I watched people come and go in and out of my life this year, and even forgave more than I intended to with my stubborn Taurus heart. I also learned to not trust as much, if that isn't another reason to be a shitty year.


So as I look forward to 2017, I turn back to 2016 with a high handed middle finger and say GOODBYE. Thank you for the lessons and reality checks you gave me. Thank you for teaching me who my real friends are, and who decided to be there for me or show they really weren't my friend.
Thank you for teaching me that I can leave my 5 years of being a Coupon Blogger, and find myself again. Thank you for helping me find my voice again.

All so I can pledge some unreal New Years Resolutions, to most likely break in the first 5 days of 2017 and continue to be the smartass, foul mouthed, soccer mom that I am!

May your New Years be great and safe!



#RIP2016

Be You, Love You and Give no F*cks

For years I have been two different people.  One the blogger side of me that is a nicer wholesome mom figure. But then there is the realistic foul mouthed, tell it like it is mom side of me.

But being two personas has been a challenge. One challenge is being my true self and the other being "happy homemaker/couponmama", This may have made me lose myself and my mind. While one side of me is loud, opinionated and cusses worse than a sailor. The blogger side of me is this sweet lady that is always helpful and says "$.99" a lot. (It's an inside joke, you would have to watch the videos)

I lost myself in all of the years blogging about coupons and savings. Then it became so frustrating and exhausting keeping up, that I exploded. Literally, I think I said Fuck about 30 times in less than a minute. Because that is the true me. The cussing me. The side that some people just don't want to know.  I held it in for the past 4 years. I just couldn't do it anymore. I finally gave up and started being me again.

See, I get friends request on Facebook daily. Usually I ignore most of them, only because I do not think people are ready to know the real side of me. If they really knew me, then they might go running for the hills. I don't even post or share half of the things I want to. I have to stay neutral in most situations of today's crazy world. Which has made for a permanent bite mark on my bottom lip. Believe me I have bit down and held my mouth closed a lot this past year.

But the bigger challenge came when I was in the store one day, frustrated at cleared shelves or someone doing something blatantly illegal in the coupon world, and one of my followers came up to me and happily introduced themselves.  "Well shit, now I have to behave everywhere I go." That was the first though that popped into my head. I knew I had just said Fuck out loud and hoped she didn't hear me. I mean, I am always happy to meet the people that I have helped. Don't get me wrong. I love meeting people. But again, will they like the real side of me. The cussing woman, who gives no Fucks.

Sometimes in my "Gives no Fucks" moments I might post something stupid on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Only to have one of my elders pop up and comment. Again, my first thought is "Damnit Tara what are you doing"  Then I remember this, they know you or maybe they don't really know you either. I mean I haven't really been around my family for years and I guess I am 41, so I get a say in how I want to be. But cussing doesn't make me a bad person either. I was raised right. My mom knows I use multiple versions of cuss words as nouns, adjectives and verbs and she has accepted the fact that her little girl is a stubborn shit and will be how she wants to be. Not how she thinks I should be.

I have even taught my kids, Be you. Love You, and Give no Fucks! Not that I am teaching my kids to be disrespectful. Oh no. They say "Yes Sir", "Yes Ma'am" and "Thank You". They have manners and can be the best damn kids I know. They can also be just as foul mouthed as their mother. Not around others, they know the difference of where and how to open that mouth. But they also know that they don't have to conform to what Society expects of them. It's okay to be you. As long as you are happy. So Give No Fucks as to what people tell you. Having tattoos doesn't make you a bad person, so get them if that is what you want, etc. Be You, Love You and Give No Fucks!

So I guess what I am really rambling on about is this. It's hard to be two people. It's hard mentally and spirtually to hold yourself back. I have learned this the hard way. I should have been me from the start. But I didn't think the world was ready. Now at 41 with a head half full of grey hair and no want to change who the Fuck I am, I will just be me and hope that the world can accept it.

Thanks to Shibby Katt for the picture. This totally made my fucking day! 

You can be their friend without being their best friend.

I have been told by some people it is never a good thing to be friends with your kids. Now I do agree with statement to an extent. I think in today's world we need to be friendly with them. Maybe not their best friend, but with some of the things these kids go through today, you need to be one of the people they can rely on.

Think about our childhood and what society was like then, compared to today. It is a completely different world. Now if you have a child who isn't going out with friends and experiencing this harsh world via Social Media, then I don't think your judgement is the same. If your child sits at home all weekend with no friends, then you may need to push them out the door a little to experience the hard cold world before you pass a little judgement onto others. 

We have seen it all through the kids that have grown up in this house. You name it, we have probably dealt with it. From depression, suicide attempts, heartbreak to bad grades on a test. Heck, we even had the ultimate Social Media War at one time go through like a tornado. 

But you know what, I was there every step of the way for my kid. So we survived it all.  They have always been able to come to me, tell me what is going on and ask for my advice. Which I completely appreciate. I never could tell my parents what I was going through or dealing with. I faced some crappy things in my day and I had to bottle that shit up. It made me a bitter person sometimes. I don't want that for my kids. I want them to go out into this world, be a great humanitarian and know they can survive anything because I have their back if they need it. 

I don't jump into every battle for them, but if I know a situation is wrong and something is just simply not right, then I will step in and push my kid out of the way to be the General Patton they need. Because making kids fight every battle on their own doesn't seem to be working anymore. Look around, have you watched the news? This world is crazy. 

It's okay to sit on the sidelines and be your kids cheerleader if that is what you wish. Its okay to be their coach. I prefer to be more of the defensive and offensive line. Because everyone parents differently. It is okay to be your kids friend that they can turn to when they need someone, especially before it gets too dark for them in this world. Just don't be their best friend. 

It is the simple principles of coaching that you hope for, but never happen

 I swear that soccer will be the death of me. Why? Simply because there is too much drama. Especially on the high school soccer level. Not with the kids. With coaches. Plain and simple. We have already had our fair share and the season has barely begun.

Maybe I come from another time. Maybe I expect different things. It is always possible that I over expect from people. But there should be certain ways that things are done. In anything to be honest. When you are a peer in high school, you are guiding children into what life should be like as an adult. Not to say that adults don't have drama, lord knows we do. But if someone gives three years of their time then you should know simple things (ie: their phone numbers) You should know how to contact them, not to have to drag another player into something that they have no business in, just to tell the said player what you need to tell them. But once again, you have to believe that peers actually will invest their time in these kids and not just become buddy buddy with the few that kiss their ass.

Yes, I may be a bit pissy, but I know in my heart that I teach my kids to not kiss ass. If you look back in history, ass kissers don't really get far in life. Be who you are, tell people what you think, and always follow your heart. Those are the principles I taught my kid. These said principles rub some people the wrong way, and I get that. I know I can be a tough pill to swallow myself.

But I believe a Coach should be there to teach, guide and show a child the way......

a lot has changed but we keep moving forward

With Spring Soccer season starting and Indoor Season ending, we have been very busy. Soccer ID Camps coming up and the time to start looking at possible colleges are soon to be. Our Giant is now well over 6'5 and playing more than keeper. He has been fielding Defender and Striker positions, with a few goals under his belt. As much as he thinks he is the next Peter Crouch to take over the soccer world, I wonder what is to come in the Fall when High School Soccer begins and he is back to Goalkeeper.

Over winter break he was diagnosed with a new disorder and started Humira recently and it has helped him immensely. I am pissed and heartbroked all at the same time. Pissed that he got my crappy Arthritic genes and a giantism disorder. Sad that he will take medicine for most of his life like I do. But I will always teach him that nothing stops you, but yourself. I have been dying for 13 years. According to doctors I was supposed to be dead a few times already. But I brushed that crap off and moved on. It's what we do. Move Forward.

I have to remind myself to keep moving forward. A lot has changed in our lives the past few months. I guess I was to sad and stressed out to write. But I know that this is my outlet. My story. I have to be able to tell it. We are not a perfect family by any means. Probably less than the average American family. More drama than most, and a lot of it I cannot even say yet. But hell, who doesn't have drama. I mean honestly. What family doesn't have a kid that is good and a kid that you pull your hair out over. Right? I know my mother used to introduce me as the one that gave her the grey hair. I now understand what she meant more than ever.

But my diary, my story, my life.  That is what this will be........

Let's Go is simply not an option.....

As a mom, I want to protect my son at all times. But you want to let your child grow up and deal with situations on their own. Learn those valuable lessons that will teach them about the toughness of being an adult. Well sometimes when you are an angry Soccer Mom, you just want to grab your kid off the field and say "Lets Go"

I spent the past two years being so angry at a Coach for his inconsistencies, horrible coaching skills and pompous attitude. It literally became an unhealthy situation for myself. I sit here watching all of these movies and see Coach's that inspire, that lead kids through tough games and tell them to never give up. Even when faced with the possibility of losing 10-0. But I am faced with the Coach that sits down and watchs the game unravel and the children give up on the field.

You do your best to cheer them on as a parent in the stands and tell them "Stay On It", "Defend", "Move Up away from the box". Because you hate to see the kids give up on themselves and do what they can to get the next 35minutes of game time to go by as quickly. But then there is that moment that Coach stands up and yells as loud as he can to "DO Not move up!"  Sadness, Madness, Anger builds in side of me and I think to myself that now is the time to grab my kid and say "Let's Go!"
You see the looks on the other parents faces and the opposing teams parents faces and you are in disbelief. Why would you tell a child to basically give up and let the other team keep scoring on you.  So angry you get up and you leave the stands, saying "I'm out!" With the other parents trying to calm you down before you do grab your kid and leave for good.

I think to myself about the multiple times my kid was told he would be the one starting. Only to have it yanked come game time. I think of the times that my kid was ridiculed for going to private training or College ID Camps. As if it was a waste of time. I think of the many times my kid got in the car after practice so angry that he wanted to quit Soccer all together.  Then I think to myself - No Wonder we have a horrible ranking and record.  There is no Inspiration to be better, no reason to give 100% on the field or think about possibly playing a sport one day in College.
So you have that long talk on the way home about not giving up on your dreams, not worrying about what was told to you. The whole time your blood boiling down deep, because you just want to go scream and yell at the person that is making your child feel that way. But you have to let your child work through it and learn from it. You have to let them make the decision to quit or stay.

Being a parent is the hardest thing I ever had to. But being a Soccer Mom is the second hardest thing I ever had to do. I will spend the next two years doing all that I can to keep my son from giving up on his dreams. I guess that is all I can do. Since walking across the field and grabbing my kid to tell him "Let's Go" is simply not an option.