Sunday, August 20, 2017

When you just want the game to be fair, but the ref might be racist.

If you think racism in sports isn't a thing, take a trip out to the country with a team of city kids of all races and see how different officiating can be.

I tell you this as I am a little angry still this morning about the treatment of our team at a high school game last night. What is the saddest part of the story and probably the one thing that angers me the most? Well, this happened just 10 minutes from my backyard.

So let me start out by saying that it is always good to watch your refs, especially line refs. When they seem to hold conversations with the home team and laugh and joke around instead of paying attention to the complete game they are getting paid for, that sets the tone it will not be in your favor. When you have to start recording them just so they will do their job is also a bad sign that this is going to be bad. I have had issues with this ref before during travel season calling things unfair or not calling penalties on kids of a certain color, that being white.

Now I know I can be bat shit crazy. I call things for what they are. People don't like it. People don't want to be called on their bullshit. I never once cussed at the refs or threatened them last night, I might have pointed out how biased and borderline racist their calls were against our team. Unfortunately a grown man was scared and asked the police to post next to me in case it got out of hand.   But you see,  I did not deserve to have cops posted next to me. Was I scared, hell no! Because I knew I was within my rights. I had done nothing but called the refs on their bullshit a few times. Okay maybe closer to 50 times throughout a 90 minute game.

Its sad to watch grown men call some petty calls against a team made up of hispanics, african americans, indigenous and caucasian kids. Like a throw in violation because one foot was not firmly planted to the ground. Yet I watched the home team (of 95% caucasian kids) do the same thing throughout the game and nothing was said or called. How can kids feel like the game is played fairly when a shove in the back is not called or they are dragged down to the ground and nothing is said. But if they barely bump a shoulder they get a yellow card.  I was so proud of my boys. They stayed strong and won that game. They did not let it defeat them at all. In fact they fought through it all.

If you are going to be an official, do your job. Do it fairly.  Watch the game in its entire length. Call the calls no matter the color of a persons skin. Be equal. Be fair. Plain and simple.

On a final note -

I am also disgusted at the fact that we had an injured kid from the JV team who was treated like he didn't matter.  This boy took a hit to the back of the head during his game and he played on. Soon after his game was over and the Varsity game was going on, he developed a migraine and started puking non-stop.

 I happened upon him on my way to the concession stand.  The concession stand ladies did give him ice water and a bag of ice. But he laid on the ground miserable and I asked for the trainer. When the home teams trainer came over it was as if she was bothered by it.

We told her he got hit in the head and he developed a migraine and was puking with dilated eyes within 30 minutes. Do you know what she did? She asked him if she ate or drank throughout the day. Never once touching him or seeing if he needed to be taken to the hospital. She stood there like she didn't want to help us.

Thankfully his parents met the bus when they returned to school and he was taken to the hospital, because our coaches kept an eye on him. Because they cared enough to see how bad he was getting.
Either this trainer needs lessons in her job or she simply did not want to be bothered by hispanic kid with an injury.

So now I am going to finish my morning coffee and pray that he is fine.

Is it the money or is it really about the talent?

As parents we would do anything for our kids, right?  Even drive 40 minutes across town through hectic downtown metropolis traffic to get to a facility for training. Get up at 4:30 am to drive them to 6am soccer practice and live off the pot of coffee that has now become a luke warm syrup. Yes, that is what we would do. Just to achieve their goals.

Things around the house have become topsy turvy lately and we decided to throw the Giant into basketball training on top of his fall high school soccer. At the time, to be honest, I did not take into consideration my sanity or lack of sleep. I thought of him and what he wanted to do, because I have tried to put the boys first and foremost.

Will these things help him to go to the next step, who knows. Am I paying out a lot more in gas and training, heck yes. I surely don't remember it being this way when I was a kid. Definitely not from what you would believe when you watch movies or TV shows. You would think your kid is a great player and boom coaches are banging down your door right? No.

Plain and simple, the recruiting process is complex. Each sport is so different as well. Our oldest would attend Combines for Football and submit tapes to coaches. Easy peasy, right? Soccer on the other hand can be recruited from travel teams and from the way parents make it sound, your kid better be on an elite team that costs lots of money. No thank you. Why should we put out enough to buy a used car on a travel team only to have the Giant not recruited. That just seems crazy to my frugal self. Now lets throw Basketball in the mix. I am so lost at how this goes, so I am learning.

Now the Giant is 6'8" and you would think coaches would be banging down our door for him to be their next super goalkeeper. So far, not really. Mostly we get invites to camps. Costly camps. Which is great and all for the kids that have lots of money to toss that way. But what about the kids who are talented and cant afford these ID camps. Is soccer only for the kids with money? It honestly shouldn't be. I am pretty sure there are a lot of talented kids that are in low income areas. I know I have seen a few play. Should the standards be changed? It just seems odd to me to pay a school to ID your child.

Maybe basketball will be different. Im honestly scared to see how this will go. I can only hope that he learns enough skills in the next few months to be ready to play for the high school season. Either way, if he is recruited for a sport or not, I know he will go to college and go on to be a History Teacher. I can't ask for more than that. He is a great kid that has goals. It is just my job to live off a few hours of sleep, lukewarm coffee and road rage to get him what he needs to achieve those goals.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Unlike the mold society wants your kid to be

When your kid doesn't fit into the Mold...

First let me start off by saying I am the Queen of the dysfunctional family that I run. I own it. But not just that, my kids own their part.

I think because we have taught our children to be themselves and not fit into what society deems or cliques and such in school, they have been more expressive on who they are. I love them for that, but I know this has been an issue for them in the past. We have struggled with bullying and with depression and even an attempted suicide. Thank God we have overcome those moments.

Now I admit that I buried so many of the emotions that came with those moments deep down inside. You know, don't talk about it and it doesnt exist.  But after watching "13 Reasons Why", every single emotion from my own high school days to the parenting days of a child struggling to survive this insane world, has resurfaced.

This is not a show you need to sit down and just watch. This is a show you open your mind and realize is happening. It may be happening to someone you know, including your own child.  Remember what it was like in your own high school days.  Don't be naive, think about it. It was stupid crazy and the weaker were picked on. Guess what, it still happens, nothing has changed. But it has. Social Media changed it.  Everything from Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, its out there.
I always tell my boys that it takes 1 seconds to screenshot something. So don't post something that you dont want to be put out there to be criticized. There is always a critic.

People are cruel. Especially behind a computer. Hell, I get called names to this day because of my other blogs. People take me the wrong way all of the time. But I just hold the important things from the Social Media world and move on for the ride. Believe me, you don't know all about my life.

Coming home to a child so desperate to end his life because his classmates called him names continuously is something I don't want to ever go through again. You think your kid is okay, that their life is hunky dory right? But do you know your kid? I tell you this, people always say "don't be your kids friend". But I believe in some aspect that you have to be their friend. I want my kid to come and talk to me, to tell me that everything is not okay. So I can step in and be their advocate, their mom, their friend in their time of desperation.

So what is the moral of the story, really I honestly cannot tell you. I can tell you that kids today are going through a lot more than I ever did in the 90's. That is for sure.  Both of my sons lost classmates to murder, cancer and kids that just moved away to get away from the bullying. It is a different world. Allow your children to be the rockstars that they are. Unique, different, unlike the mold. But let them know you are there for them when their world falls apart.

Mama G...

Saturday, February 4, 2017

The Peanut Gallery and Discrimination....

Heightism...yes this is real. Crazy right. That people would be prejudiced against a tall person. Can you believe this crap.

Now I will tell you, I can't fathom what goes through my sons mind most days. Everywhere we go, people simply stare at him. Usually grown men. It's funny to me, because you can see the testosterone almost slither out of some men when my 16 year old walks into a room. He is a child to me, teenager to most and a threat apparently to most men and their manhood. They stare, they glare and sometimes ask him if he plays ball and what position.

It has to be hard being 6'7 and 16. Still growing and knowing that you are still growing. I have always taught the boy to be confident. Own your shit. Confidence is the key to making people believe that you are not insecure. I know he has to be though. Its hard to find clothes, shoes and sit in cars, hell even sitting on a toilet must be a challenge. You have to bend down to kiss a girl and slow dances at homecoming must be hard too.

So back to my story, because I digress. The boy loves soccer. He is an awesome goalkeeper and can dive for a ball like a 5'8 person would. He has learned to use his height believe me. When he is in goal, no one really says anything on the sideline. You don't hear many groans or mumbles coming from the peanut gallery of parents or coaches. But give him a chance on the field as striker and he shines. But then you hear the mumbles, the groans, the parents yelling to get him off the field because he may hurt their little Timmy. Now Timmy apparently is playing an age group of 16 year old boys and is two feet shorter than my son. It's not my fault Timmy didn't grow or hasn't come into puberty. Maybe you should have given Timmy better genetics. I don't know. But why should my son have to worry about Timmy's height.

Little Timmy tripped over my sons size 16 shoes and is flopping. So of course, the peanut gallery starts yelling. As I sit there, getting angry and mumbling to myself. The end of the game comes and Peanut #1 is talking about how tall my lil giant is as I walk by. I stop and give the Doe Eyes look of a sad mother, and say "Yes he has Giantism and its really hard for him to fit in and be a normal kid" hoping for a little remorse from said Peanut. All I get of course is an "Oh Crap" look when Peanut realizes the Giants mothers was only sitting 4 people down from him as he proceeded to talk crap and yell to pull my son off the field the whole game.

As we are leaving we have the opposing Coach (Head Peanut) screaming at our coach about my son being a threat and that someone will get hurt by him playing. That he shouldn't be allowed to play.

Of course, my Irish mentality at first goes to "lets take this out in the parking lot", but I can't do that. So, I go into the typical American mentality of "I'm going to sue the pants off of you and the facility, if my son is not allowed to play."  Oh and you can bet your pants that I will. Why? Because it is simply discrimination. It's called Heightism. It's a Prejudice or Discrimination for his height. Nothing more.

But luckily, we have an awesome coach who has watched my son grow up since 2nd grade and knows what we have been through. The hard times we have finding him clothes, shoes, cleats, gloves. He stood up for my son. Like a good coach should, with his own smartass mouth and said "Maybe Timmy should eat more red meat so he can grow tall too." Making the opposing coach and parent stand there with their mouths wide open.

Today we go back to play. It has been determined that poor Giant must stay in the goalkeeper box the whole game. It's really sad, because he loves running the field and scoring a goal himself.  But you never know if another Timmy will be playing and have parents that are going to judge my son based on his height. So to avoid conflict we will watch him stand in his box and dive for the balls and have amazing saves.

Let's just hope I don't have to speak my mind to any Peanuts today.....

Friday, December 30, 2016

When you are just ready for the New Year to Begin

Can we just say goodbye to 2016! 

Has this been the year that you may aged a little from? I know I have a few extra grey hairs this year, and I don't think I can attribute it just to be 42 now.

From the drama of a ridiculous election, to the loss of friends that may or may not have asked who you voted for before unfriending you. This was a tough one for sure! I mean the biggest problem was lack of real communication, lets face it.  We had fake news, we had real news and we had opinions beyond anything I have seen. I mean, everyone had an opinion, but you had to be careful how you expressed it.

To the godly amount of talent we lost. Just seems like there was more than any other year this year. Don't these things come in 3's? I thought Celebrity Deaths always came in 3's. You would wait to see who the third one was going to be. But no, December wasn't going to play by those rules apparently. We lost some great ones this year, some shocking ones for sure. I am still in shock on a few.

To the sad reality of Flint Michigan still not having clean water and DAPL being on the backburner for many to see what will actually happen. The Syrians are still in a sad state and now we are poking the bear and putting sanctions on Russia.

It has been a Shitty and I mean Shitty Year!

I had some serious stresses and losses this year. My stepdad that raised me, was finally out of his misery of 9 years suffering from COPD. That one is still hard. Christmas just wasn't the same. Not that I spend Holidays back home. But I would always get a smoked ham from my parents and this years store bought ham just wasn't the same. But he is watching over me somewhere, still shaking his head and laughing at some of the dumb shit I do.

I have seen more violence on the news this year than I can remember, and even attended a funeral for a young man killed by street violence. So yeah, definitely heartbreaking crappy year.

 I watched people come and go in and out of my life this year, and even forgave more than I intended to with my stubborn Taurus heart. I also learned to not trust as much, if that isn't another reason to be a shitty year.

So as I look forward to 2017, I turn back to 2016 with a high handed middle finger and say GOODBYE. Thank you for the lessons and reality checks you gave me. Thank you for teaching me who my real friends are, and who decided to be there for me or show they really weren't my friend.
Thank you for teaching me that I can leave my 5 years of being a Coupon Blogger, and find myself again. Thank you for helping me find my voice again.

All so I can pledge some unreal New Years Resolutions, to most likely break in the first 5 days of 2017 and continue to be the smartass, foul mouthed, soccer mom that I am!

May your New Years be great and safe!


Saturday, December 3, 2016

Be You, Love You and Give no F*cks

For years I have been two different people.  One the blogger side of me that is a nicer wholesome mom figure. But then there is the realistic foul mouthed, tell it like it is mom side of me.

But being two personas has been a challenge. One challenge is being my true self and the other being "happy homemaker/couponmama", This may have made me lose myself and my mind. While one side of me is loud, opinionated and cusses worse than a sailor. The blogger side of me is this sweet lady that is always helpful and says "$.99" a lot. (It's an inside joke, you would have to watch the videos)

I lost myself in all of the years blogging about coupons and savings. Then it became so frustrating and exhausting keeping up, that I exploded. Literally, I think I said Fuck about 30 times in less than a minute. Because that is the true me. The cussing me. The side that some people just don't want to know.  I held it in for the past 4 years. I just couldn't do it anymore. I finally gave up and started being me again.

See, I get friends request on Facebook daily. Usually I ignore most of them, only because I do not think people are ready to know the real side of me. If they really knew me, then they might go running for the hills. I don't even post or share half of the things I want to. I have to stay neutral in most situations of today's crazy world. Which has made for a permanent bite mark on my bottom lip. Believe me I have bit down and held my mouth closed a lot this past year.

But the bigger challenge came when I was in the store one day, frustrated at cleared shelves or someone doing something blatantly illegal in the coupon world, and one of my followers came up to me and happily introduced themselves.  "Well shit, now I have to behave everywhere I go." That was the first though that popped into my head. I knew I had just said Fuck out loud and hoped she didn't hear me. I mean, I am always happy to meet the people that I have helped. Don't get me wrong. I love meeting people. But again, will they like the real side of me. The cussing woman, who gives no Fucks.

Sometimes in my "Gives no Fucks" moments I might post something stupid on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Only to have one of my elders pop up and comment. Again, my first thought is "Damnit Tara what are you doing"  Then I remember this, they know you or maybe they don't really know you either. I mean I haven't really been around my family for years and I guess I am 41, so I get a say in how I want to be. But cussing doesn't make me a bad person either. I was raised right. My mom knows I use multiple versions of cuss words as nouns, adjectives and verbs and she has accepted the fact that her little girl is a stubborn shit and will be how she wants to be. Not how she thinks I should be.

I have even taught my kids, Be you. Love You, and Give no Fucks! Not that I am teaching my kids to be disrespectful. Oh no. They say "Yes Sir", "Yes Ma'am" and "Thank You". They have manners and can be the best damn kids I know. They can also be just as foul mouthed as their mother. Not around others, they know the difference of where and how to open that mouth. But they also know that they don't have to conform to what Society expects of them. It's okay to be you. As long as you are happy. So Give No Fucks as to what people tell you. Having tattoos doesn't make you a bad person, so get them if that is what you want, etc. Be You, Love You and Give No Fucks!

So I guess what I am really rambling on about is this. It's hard to be two people. It's hard mentally and spirtually to hold yourself back. I have learned this the hard way. I should have been me from the start. But I didn't think the world was ready. Now at 41 with a head half full of grey hair and no want to change who the Fuck I am, I will just be me and hope that the world can accept it.

Thanks to Shibby Katt for the picture. This totally made my fucking day! 

Friday, October 21, 2016

You can be their friend without being their best friend.

I have been told by some people it is never a good thing to be friends with your kids. Now I do agree with statement to an extent. I think in today's world we need to be friendly with them. Maybe not their best friend, but with some of the things these kids go through today, you need to be one of the people they can rely on.

Think about our childhood and what society was like then, compared to today. It is a completely different world. Now if you have a child who isn't going out with friends and experiencing this harsh world via Social Media, then I don't think your judgement is the same. If your child sits at home all weekend with no friends, then you may need to push them out the door a little to experience the hard cold world before you pass a little judgement onto others. 

We have seen it all through the kids that have grown up in this house. You name it, we have probably dealt with it. From depression, suicide attempts, heartbreak to bad grades on a test. Heck, we even had the ultimate Social Media War at one time go through like a tornado. 

But you know what, I was there every step of the way for my kid. So we survived it all.  They have always been able to come to me, tell me what is going on and ask for my advice. Which I completely appreciate. I never could tell my parents what I was going through or dealing with. I faced some crappy things in my day and I had to bottle that shit up. It made me a bitter person sometimes. I don't want that for my kids. I want them to go out into this world, be a great humanitarian and know they can survive anything because I have their back if they need it. 

I don't jump into every battle for them, but if I know a situation is wrong and something is just simply not right, then I will step in and push my kid out of the way to be the General Patton they need. Because making kids fight every battle on their own doesn't seem to be working anymore. Look around, have you watched the news? This world is crazy. 

It's okay to sit on the sidelines and be your kids cheerleader if that is what you wish. Its okay to be their coach. I prefer to be more of the defensive and offensive line. Because everyone parents differently. It is okay to be your kids friend that they can turn to when they need someone, especially before it gets too dark for them in this world. Just don't be their best friend.